then comes marriage...then a house...a dog...mommy friends

Dear littlest Russell,

Lately I've been feeling really lonely. It's not your fault, you are great company, but I miss adults. 

I've never had many friends, I blame it mostly on the fact that I had a very unstable upbringing. I moved around a lot as a child. I'm talking about 10 different schools by the time I was 9. Add a middle school and then a high school, two colleges are you starting to get the picture? I don't consider myself an antisocial person (rather I seem to make friends quite easily) my problem is maintaining and sustaining friendships. 

My best friend and I have now been friends for the past 7 years. I think part of the reason we have been friends for so long is that she is what I call a relivitly low maintenance person. We like to meet up for dinners once a week and spend a few hours chatting about work, relationships, books, crafts etc. There have many times where our schedules have not allowed us the time to meet up and that's ok because that just means that we have more to talk about for the next time. 

When I told her I was pregnant although she was very happy for us, I sensed a big hesitation. I think she was worried that gone were the carefree days where I would be able to meet up with her at a moments notice or to be able to meet up with her at all. 

I tried to reassure her. We after all went through the same thing when I got married and our friendship hadn't had time stolen from her by that. 

Lately though, due to mommy brain I think I feel like I am not good company anymore. Rarely do I finish stories let alone speak in full sentences before I get sidetracked or interrupted. And now most annoyingly my stories are all about baby this and baby that. Don't get me wrong I love talking about you. I am proud on a daily basis of how fast you are growing up, changing and learning. The problem is that I was a person before you came along. A person who did things and had hobbies besides raising a small child. And so when I was asked for a recommendation of any good books I've read lately I felt really sad. The last book that I had time to read cover to cover was "Goodnight moon."

Good night moon, good night Spencer

I'm sure this was not the kind of book my friend would be interested in. So I went to Chapters with my Christmas gift card in hand and bought this one:

Just noticed now: Still "children" themed *sigh

Now let's see if I can find some me time and get back to my pre-baby self. 

And now I'm going to step out of my comfort zone and really try to maintain friendships with the lovely ladies from my prenatal class. I mean they probably don't have much else to talk about but their own small ones as well. 

Last Class

Prenatal Group Reunion

Love forever and always,

Mom