then comes marriage...then a house...a dog...then breast feeding

Dear littlest Russell,

I cannot begin to express how happy I am that we are so perfectly matched for breastfeeding. How amazing it is that my body produces the perfect substance for you, meeting all of your dietary needs. 

Right from the very first latch you knew what to do and so did my body. I've been so lucky that I never suffered from sore, cracked nipples and still have a virtually unused tube of nipple cream. At your one week check up we knew things were going well as you had gained back (plus a little bit more) from what you lost in the first few days and now at a pound away from doubling your birth weight you haven't slowed down or stopped growing since!

We feed on demand, which means that when I see that you are getting hungry (hands up to the mouth, lips smacking, or general fussiness) I feed you. You comfort feed too, and for the most part I'm ok with that. I've tried soothers and unless milk comes out of it you don't want anything to do with it. 

I can always tell when you are going through a growth spurt because I feel like you are latched on all day long and you pull away and get frustrated because the milk isn't getting to you fast enough.

Everyone asks me how I got you to sleep through the night already. And I'll do a sleep post another day but I feel like a big part of how you sleep so well is because you eat so well and for so long right before bed. (Of course what works for one baby may not work for another, so if you're reading this for help or advice keep that in mind).

Here is what our routine looks like now at three months:
6am Wake up, get dressed, then you eat breakfast
7am We let Charlie outside and give her her breakfast and play
9am You have a short nap (just long enough for me to have a shower and do something quick with my hair)

You eat again, we play downstairs and then you have your long morning nap

12 you wake up, eat, and play

3ish you have your afternoon nap

4pm is when you start your 3 hour cluster feed (Yes you read that right...three freakin hours pretty much non-stop)

5:45pm You have a bit of a break when Dad gets home. You guys chat about manly things while I make dinner. Just before dinner is ready daddy changes you into jammies, sings you a song, and if you are still happy I sit down with you on my lap and eat my dinner. Most nights I don't have enough time to finish eating before you get fussy and I give you a quick nurse (no more than half an hour) 7pm you are asleep for the night. 

So that's it. You eat on and off all day long with a three hour cluster feed before bed and then you are out for the night. 

One thing that I am proud about is being fairly comfortable feeding you infront of others and teaching my six year old niece what breasts are really for. Maybe her generation will be more positive towards breastfeeding mothers and simply see it as a mother feeding her baby some lunch when she is out in public. 

I do use a nursing cover around other dads or out in public but I so deeply wish to be completely free. How twisted is our society that a baby being fed artificially (by a bottle) is perfectly ok but to see a mom using her body to naturally feed her child is "awkward and should be hidden".

I have had comments about how you couldn't possibly be still hungry when we are over at other people's houses during your cluster feed time. It hurts my feelings and makes me feel like they think I'm over feeding you. You have had big juicy cheeks since before you were born as seen in ultrasound pictures, so comments now about how your cheeks must be so big from all that eating you do are ridiculous. 

It's important for me to remember that you eat as much as you want (people say you cannot overfeed a breastfed baby) and that I know you best. What we do works for us and I enjoy seeing you thrive. If any of our doctors or nurses thought you were gaining too much too fast they would say something. Instead, they are proud (as am I) for all the hours we've put into this and the outcome we are receiving. I know pretty soon you'll be up crawling, walking, running and burning all those calories. I can't wait to see you achieve all those milestones and more. 

Love & Kisses,

Mom