then comes marriage...then a house...a dog...then baby is 2.5 months old (time to catch up)

Ok so life as usual got in the way of me blogging. Seems like this happens all the time for me. I start a blog with the greatest intentions and, well, it dies. So after almost a whole year and practically an entire pregnancy I'm back. I'm not going to beat myself up about it...it is what it is. I still need a place to write down, to reflect back, to unload my thoughts so here it goes (again). 

I have so much to catch up on and I'm still figuring out the best way to do it. Maybe 3 am is not the best time to start this but I just finished nursing and was too excited about blogging that I couldn't fall back asleep. 

Future posts to catch the blog up include 

•the rest of my pregnancy

•labour/delivery

•baby introduction

•months one, two and three of life with a newborn

•who am I now

I really wish I had followed through with my intentions the first time as the above list looks pretty overwhelming. The "oh crap how will I make enough time to write all that" kind of thing. I've seen a wonderful idea floating around in cyberland (aka Facebook, Pinterest etc.) that I really want to try and I figured I could adapt it a bit and do it online. The idea is that from the start of the year whenever something wonderful/magical/moment to cherish happens you write it down on a small piece of paper and put it in a jar. On New Year's Eve the jar gets opened and you as a family take turns reading and reliving what made the past year a good one. 

Well we are 16 days in to January (better late than never, right)? I sense a trend here...

...ok the first moment is this one right now, the start blogging moment!

I have a nagging feeling before I try to shut down and fall back asleep that have haven't written to you yet littlest Russell. I want to so bad but I want things to be in order (pretty weird I know). Like who cares if I share something current before everything else is caught up. So I'll make it short and sweet without too much that gives things away. 

Dear littlest Russell,

I full heartily love being your mom. You are everything and more to me than I could have ever imagined you to be after all these years. One day my hope for you is if/when you find yourself in a situation that seems impossible that you never give up. Today I feel ever so lucky that your Daddy and I didn't give up and as I nurse you back to sleep I can smell the fresh, warm, milky smell that makes my heart just want to burst into a million different pieces. 

I love you, I love mothering you, nurturing you, and watching you thrive from it all. 

Love you, 

Mom